Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
