I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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