Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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