Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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