I met the friendliest cop last night
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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