Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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