also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
