just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
