It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Michael Bay diarrhea
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
