Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
