That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
