I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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