I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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