id be glad to
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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