So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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