If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
