awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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