youre lurking in front of me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
