I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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