Will you blow on my dice?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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