But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
