i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
