does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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