you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
