she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
