We're facebook friends in real life
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
