haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
