she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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