i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
