I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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