i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Terrible idea I love it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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