sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
