check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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