We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I am midnight drunk by noon
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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