I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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