Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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