it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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