Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
