You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
