I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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