don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
