I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
