I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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