I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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