The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
