She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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