I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
