I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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