They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
