When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
