Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
