Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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