he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
